It is highly uncommon to find individuals with the uncanny innate ability to balance work, family, and life commitments.  It seems our nature is to swing to extremes or to get overwhelmed and just give up.  Our enthusiasm and commitment ebb and flow like the tide—sometimes it’s there; sometimes it’s not.  But one thing is for sure—it’s always changing.   

I find that balance is mostly about perspective and targets.  For example, for weeks at a time, I’m thrown hundreds of details in my life that I must manage.  Things like phone calls to be returned, emails sent, tasks to be done...you know the drill.  Those kinds of days when you begin with all your Outlook tasks colored red because they didn’t get finished the day before.  Sometimes I feel like a body surfer turfed by a rogue wave: sputtering, spitting out sand and water.  You may call those days whatever you like—off-center, out-of-kilter, topsy-turvy—but they’ve left me so mentally exhausted at times that I couldn’t remember where I’d parked my car! My hope is that you’ve never had days (or even weeks) like that; but I don’t think I’m alone. 

One of my running buddies recently completed an adventure race.  This guy is pretty accomplished in orienteering—as in, Army Ranger Certified accomplished.  His team had been training for months for that race, and when the morning finally arrived, they received the instructions from the course marshal and were given time to plot their way.   

In this particular type of race, the team must make a map that is then reviewed by the course marshal to ensure that all points are correct.  Well, the marshal reviewed all their plots and they had them all right.  That is, almost all.   It seems that one little point was not correctly plotted, so they go back and re-plot the point on the map again.   They did as the course marshal said and passed his subsequent map review.   However, it wasn’t until later in the day that they discovered they had made a critical error: they didn’t sufficiently erase the wrong plot and ended up running toward the wrong point in their fatigue and enthusiasm.  The end result was the addition of another painful hour to the run with one team member already battling serious dehydration and team fatigue.  Fortunately, they were able to become reoriented and finish as a team just under the time limit to be counted among the successful finishers.   

So what does this have to do with balance, perspective and targets?   

Sometimes in life, we run after points on a map we didn’t draw and they have no real significance attached to them.  We even run to points that we’ve tried to erase but for various reasons, are still drawn to them.  What are your markers and landmarks of success for your family, in your business, and in your other commitments?  Have you ever been running toward the wrong points only to discover that it is a long road back?  Worse yet, in some cases, there is no road back. The good thing is that there are steps we can take immediately toward becoming reoriented toward the right points.  The important thing is recognizing your need to plot your course and stay on it! 

Seven Practical tips:

1. Review your last week.  There is something highly productive about reviewing the past seven days and envisioning the next seven that helps you get perspective.  David Allen’s book, Getting Things Done, has a great way of doing this. 
2. Take control of next week.  Take some colored pens to a blank sheet of paper and create what a masterpiece of a week could look like before it happens.
3. Succeed at home first.  You have 1,440 minutes per day.  Are you robbing your time from your family to give more than enough time to your office?  My good friend Hudson Owen once told his boss “I can get another job, but I can’t get another family.”  He kept his job, and his boss started spending more time with his own family.  Enough said. 
4. Check your attitude.  Attitude is a choice.  No one else can do this for you.  No one can make you mad or steal your peace unless you give them permission; it’s your choice.  Do you have peace or confusion?  Clarity or noise?  Confusion and noise are a signs that you’ve lost the channel on your balance.  Some days I ask: “Is this worth losing my peace over?”
5. Do a media fast.  Go unplugged from news, TV, internet, radio.  It is amazing how clearly you can hear your spirit when the thousands of other messages are silent. 
6. Perform an extended media cleansing. Go totally unplugged for at least 24 hours.  No email, no cell phone.    See number five. 
7. Define and cement your relationships. Take walks with your spouse and other significant people in your life.  Discuss what really matters for the long haul for both of you. 
8. BONUS:  Ask God for help.  He really wants to share some tips with you.  That is, if you are willing to listen.

I hope this helps you attain and even maintain a bit of balance in your life.  I have to sign off for now.  My family is waiting! 

Every Success, 

Matthew Ledford 

Resources:
Getting Things Done, David Allen
Today Matters, John Maxwell
Success is Not an Accident, Tommy Newberry